It early morning and I am up writing to show that I am a serious writer. Impressive eh? . The fact that my eyes won't focus properly, I am half frozen and my hair looks like a half-eaten fairy floss is mere trivia and simply a bonus to you that I am not visible. Because I am SERIOUS WRITER GIRL...IRL...IRL..IRL (super hero announcement echo). Yes, I Natalie will no longer fart around, fritter or squander my time to write and illustrate because I intend to have have lot's of my stories published ASAP.
I have been struggling with the balance of family and home with my writing and illustrating. I also do a few volunteer things and work about 3 hours a week. I had three days I was dedicating to my book work but really I was not getting a whole lot done (it's amazing how often the daisies needed dead-heading) and though I don't like to admit it, constantly finding excuses why I couldn't work. I also realised I was behaving like a child. I would throw tantrums and sulk that I wanted time to do my 'stuff' but the whole time I felt guilty that I was doing something 'wrong', something a bit naughty and not allowed. After all,I wanted all this time and space and some equipment but I wasn't really making any money. I felt like people were all thinking " Boy, that Natalie wants it all doesn't she? Doesn't want to do housework (duh!), clean up after people, do paperwork, deweed the herbaceous border. What a selfish tofu quadruped (I'm a vego)!
Embarrassing to admit but I finally realised I was the architect of my own boundaries. I was holding myself back. I had decades of practice avoiding all this. I should have realised my enemy was me all along. SO, I gave myself permission to succeed without limits. I decided to look at myself as my employee. What a slacker! This girl needed to put her nose the the grinder and prove she really wanted what she talked endlessly about wanting. So here I am being serious. I have installed a plan where one by one I get rid of distractions (the family can stay but the foghorn chickens may discover flight) and I have divvied out the housework and chores among the family. That should get a laugh all round. So now I get up around 5 and write till 7:30. Then I do family and home stuff till 9:30 and then it's illustrating till 3 and family and home again till after dinner then a bit more writing and reading and e-mail for an hour. That's roughly 8 hours of serious writer/artist dedication. I do believe in fairies!