Resist Flashing Your Stuff

When is a good time to show others your work? This was a difficult one for me.
I spend a lot of time on my work, in my own head space. I wish I had a magic mirror on the wall to consult with- "Oh Magic Mirror, does my 'but' look big in this sentence?"
In reality (which I visit from time to time) it's just me and the dogs. The dogs are great company but tend to wag no matter what I say, well crafted or not.
When he is home then, my patient husband is the usual sounding board and he works hard on not sounding bored, bless him. I do appreciate it. When we signed our wedding certificates, there was nothing in it about him having to read loads of dodgy writing with his partner hovering anxiously nearby. Or, having me spend considerable time mulling over the physical attributes of male characters. So, I know I am lucky that he'll help me out.
There are times though, when you would like to show another writer your work and I was given an opportunity recently. Three other writer friends were getting together for a lunch and invited me along. Everyone was asked to bring something they're working on. I hesitated. I am up to Chapter 10 on my first novel, but it's just a rough so far. I don't really do any editing yet, just a quick tidy of the last chapter before I begin the next. Theres tonnes of re-writing to do when I finish the whole lot. In the end I decided to bring chapter one and ask everyone to just read it through and see if they liked the story so far.
What I discovered was that this is simply not possible! A writer reads anothers work from a writerly point of view and the editing pen whips out- whoosh! So, two hours of time was spent on six pages and I came home very stressed with three different sets of editing notes in various Biro colours. My desire to have the approval from people in the industry backfired completely and I came away without getting what I wanted. No-one read the whole chapter!
This was not the fault of the people at all. I should have been clearer with what I wanted and asked them to withhold editing thoughts or ,if they thought they couldn't manage that, thank them and leave it. When I do finally get around to editing I will take those notes into account and some of it will better my writing, but at the end of the day, showing a first draft to writers is like throwing sardines to cats and saying "No Kitty!" Yeah, sure!
All I can say of my own experience is, try to be confident in yourself and write it all out, then rewrite, rewrite, rewrite. After that, saying clearly what you need, ask some kind person to have a squiz at your work.