The Pleasant Torture Of Writer's Festivals

A few days ago I attended the 3rd Sutherland Shire Writers Festival at Gymea. The event promised a good line up of esteemed writers and illustrator's, most of them for children and teens. Bring on the fun!
The day did not pan out as I imagined however. After two excellent presentations by writers Oliver Phommavanh and Melina Marchetta, I had taken down some juicy notes and my head was brimming with ideas and writing wisdom.
No sooner had that finished than I had a manuscript consultation with author Sue Whiting of Walker Books.
No matter how lovely Sue is and that I have now met her half a dozen times, I still got so nervous touting my literary wares that my knees became caffeinated crabs under the desk and I had to speak through a nervously clenched jaw.If Sue felt any alarm or pity towards me, she thoughtfully hid it.
The advice I got was excellent. Amazing how you can read your piece 17 times and never notice obvious flaws until you sit in front of an editor- and they haven't even spoken yet!(It's like getting dressed in a posh frock, doing your hair and make-up and after some self-admiration in the mirror, you head out into the sun only to notice the big juice stain down your dress!)
Sue was encouraging and the appraisal was well worth the cost, but after I got out of there, I couldn't possibly face a workshop or more talks. If I can compare the moment (forgive my addiction to analogies) to being fed delicious hor d'ourves and they're bloody wonderful and you're scoffing them down, but they just keep coming and no matter how good, you just can't keep going.
Instead I walked outside into the heat and climbed up on a little wall like a jigging child. I thawed out from the air-con and flicked through my notes. I couldn't ignore the fact I was simply busting to write. There was nothing for it but to leave.
When my husband came home at lunchtime, he found me, with surprise on the computer.
HUSBAND-Oh you're home! Err...was the festival okay?
ME- Yeah, it was great! That's why I'm home and writing.
HUSBAND-Uh, okay.
And I'm afraid this is pretty much what happens to me every time at Festivals, but usually I stick it out, feeling nothing short of lobotomised at the end.
It would be just great at these shindigs if there were two hours of talks and then two hours of scribbling. Fill the jug, empty the jug.

Perhaps my jug is just too small!

Studio Pigsty

These last two weeks have been more or less only artwork as I work towards meeting a self-imposed dead-line. The dead-line had a most tasty carrot - my bookstore agreeing to sell (on commission) some of my illustrations. Hooray!
Really it was about time that I asked. Previously I had moaned about all the comments people were giving to another illustrator's work displayed there.
I whinged to my boss who bluntly said "Well, she got her finger out and did those. Where's yours?" My inner whinge bag procrastinator needed that slap. And so here I am, ready to pop my own work onto a wall. It will be interesting since I will obviously hear some comments, not all positive, but a great opportunity to learn more and, hopefully sell some of my work.
I gave this blog that particular title because I wanted to show you the area I work in. I might add, I don't normally wear a hat, but had been out and come home and headed straight down to work. I am a shocker at working in whatever clothes- good or bad I am wearing when the urge to create takes me( about the time the dishes need doing)
I am tremendously lucky to have a studio under our house. It is also our storage area. Growing up,my Mum always said my room was a pigsty. As shown by my picture, it still is. I know other people are very tidy and neat. I tend to think in circles and fragments and am not very ordered. I have had to learn to be a bit practical to manage a home, work and family, but in my studio, I get to let my inner slob be herself- I never loose things and I produce good stuff during happy hours of play/work. It gets a furious tidy after each session of projects. In the meantime, I love my sty as it is- a creative chaos with me as it's mistress.

Photoscape Phun

A friend put me onto the free Photoscape photo software which I have gone really wacky on as you will see from my pics.
Like Photoshop but need something cheaper and simpler- try photoscape! Worth giving the lovely people a donation for their great product.
These are from my day at Bonnie Vale. I do so love being an amateur photographer. These were taken on a 4 year old Nikon Coolpix P4.

Author/Illustrator Interview

As no-one has rung me for an interview yet, I thought I'd jump the gun by making one up. I doesn't hurt to practice surely? Prepare to be moved, inspired, etc.

JANET- Natalie, you've written hundreds of stories, poems, plays, newsletters, cornflake commercials and indeed, painted murals, canvasses, drawn pictures, tattooed and chalked on your driveway.

NATALIE (Me actually-isn't this exciting?!)- That's right Janet.

JANET- So how much of your work has been taken on by a real publisher then?

NATALIE-(Pause) Er, that would be 'null' Janet.

JANET- Null?

NATALIE- Actually, it's pronounced 'nool' as in rhymes with 'wool'. I'ts how my German grandmother would say "None, zero etc" which in English translates as "None, zero etc". Very similar meaning.

JANET- Right. Ah, why is that Natalie? You obviously have the urge and some talent.

NATALIE- That's a good question Janet. Perhaps you could ask me a different one.

JANET- oh, okay (looks flustered). Why do you have short hair these days? Is it a feminist statement?

NATALIE- Right. No, actually. Though I do believe very much in the feminist train of thought. I just think it stopped half way along the tracks. Long way to go yet, so "All aboard. Toot, toot etc" No really the hair is because I don't have a lot of time and this length works on my dog- she doesn't look too bad in the morning. Dog clippers work on human hair it turns out.

JANET- Ahhh..

NATALIE- Anything else? I really need to update my Facebook status- "being interviewed LOL"

JANET- Well, I had intended to ask what advice you might give budding writers and artists but..

NATALIE- No I can do that. Hmmm, well- for a start, don't take any negativity from parents or teachers. They were given negativity about their stuff and that is why they are now sulky. Break the cycle and ignore them.
Then I would say- immerse yourself in what you love, not like in a bath or pool or anything- just read loads, check out art and most important- do loads of it yourself.
Find other like-minded (wacky) people, join groups etc (regular folk will get bored with you going on) and network, network, network! (check out my blog! I'm on facebook too!). Oh, and find some discipline. I had none and this became a 35 year old problem. Pretending you will die in a year is good motivation (readers who really are going to die within the year-sorry- but you can still get loads done in a few hours so cheer up:-)). Also I now get up at 5am and because my eyes are glazed with sleep, I don't seem to notice the ironing or the messy kitchen which would otherwise distract me- but weirdly not my children. Huh.

JANET- Okay, well thanks Na-

NATALIE- Oh, just a little more (shove Janet aside gently and get close to mic or camera), enter lots of competitions with short stories since you will have them to spare -you can't be precious about them all. Because sometime, some kind sod will give you good feedback and this will help. And lastly don't seek approval from others- beleive in yourself!!!
Was that okay Janet? Was I alright?

JANET- Uh, thankyou again Natalie for your compelling and er, well-researched advice.

NATALIE- No Thankyou Janet. Not a problem. Less than an hours work on Google!

Rockin' Writer's Bod (or attempts to that end)

A phrase keeps popping into my head. Actually it is the title of a book at work- “The Practice of Writing.” It clanged a really big bell in my head because, to write well, one must actually write and if I do not do it every day, then I will not improve.
I think a writers mind (or anyone creative) is like a body. By writing every day I take this body for some exercise, which builds tone and muscle and feels pretty good too. Sometimes I wonder just from writing each day how I will get better at it, with no other input. Well somehow I do, but like a body, there are definitely other factors involved- good food, fresh air, sunshine, laughter, conversation with others, spirituality, love. These are things my physical body needs. As a writer, my brain body translates these things as: reading great books and books on writing, jotting down fresh ideas into paper. Keeping a sense of humour, doing things that make me laugh, doing things that inspire like going for a walk and appreciating the beauty around me (seems easy in the greener areas but in the city I marvel at the history and atmosphere and also the cleverness of architects and trades people). Getting together with like minded people for a brainstorm- always gives me a recharge, noting conversations around me: listening to the structure and tone and emotion and grinning over peoples gorgeous accents from wherever. Doing what I love (easiest way of living in the moment)and getting out in nature is spiritual for me. And having people who love me support me, and me doing the same in turn and the lovely feeling that giving freely, gives back.
So I think that whilst writing every day can give you a rockin’ writers bod (still working out here), the life that you expose that body to, is a vital part of total writing health too.
As Richard Simmons said "Get up and squeeze..."

Illustrating for Self-Publishers

Another thing I got to do recently, was visit a writer to discuss illustrations for a great new story. I listened to her book idea and we discussed the age of the intended audience and also illustration styles and ideas. I find working for self-published people very different from the idea of a traditional illustrator, who is hired on the grounds of their style, and left more or less to their own ideas.
With self-publishers, the writer often has a strong idea of how they see the pictures, and though usually a bit flexible, they want you to come up with their vision, more or less.
This can be tricky, because you have your own thoughts, so it has to be a compromise. You have have to try and understand how they want to see it and introduce your own concepts and improvements to that. It really is a collaboration. And, depending on your agreement (get it signed in writing always) you may be parting with your pictures forever at the end, so make sure you factor that into the fee, because your work may get used by them for other things. It's a bit of a learning curve at times! One other thing I just wanted to say was that sometimes books you are asked to illustrate are being funded by a grant or done for charity. It's at your own discretion of course, but don't rip yourself off because it is being done for a good cause. The book may be funded, but the people you work for are generally working for a wage, so why shouldn't you? You can always give a little extra for free, but you deserve to be paid for your hard work (however fun!).

Reading Books Via Video

This week, via video link-up I got to speak to hundred of children around NSW, for Book Week. I got to pretend I was real author and read my book and answer questions to 11 different schools. Thought a bit nerve-wracking, I thought I was doing a dignified job until, suddenly I had to join with the other author to do a rendition of 'The Wheels on the Bus', complete with actions. Well, I am not beyond acting like a goose, but I prefer to choose my own moments! In any case, though apparently I laughed a fair bit, I got through it and the children seemed to enjoy having a sing along. This was all done via video link-up using smart-board technology. What a planet-friendly way to visit schools- marvellous! The possibilities of these wonderful tools are endless. The other day for instance, my sons English class got to read through a play with another school, sharing the roles between them. So Cool!
All in all it was a really fun experience and I feel lucky to have had this opportunity. Thanks universe!

Living Fully and Creatively

The Artist's Way book has been a valuable tool for my creative recovery and continues to be so. It amazes me (but in a way, not) how relevant each chapter is for that particular week in my life. So, the pot is well stirred, the juices are flowing and lots of wonderful projects are in my life, offering me passage once again down the road to creative fulfilment and extreme happiness. But, the truth is, I've been here before. Many many times. It most certainly is a first step, but obviously it isn't quite enough for me, else I wouldn't be here. Again.
The universe obviously listened because I went into work at the bookstore, and one small white book was on the bench(with a beam of sunlight falling on it!. Just kidding) , waiting to be put away. I'd never seen it before, so I picked it up to have a look. It was called 'The Art of Uncertainty' by Dennis Merritt Jones. I had a quick look through it and knew it was exactly what I needed. I have been reading it, bit by bit ever since (small nibble and time to digest) and my life has been changing dramatically as I go. It is about many things and I haven't finished yet, but mostly it's about living consciously (though I have many books on that) and leaning out over the void of uncertainty and bravely, stepping off. It's also about listening to the 'stories' you tell in your life that reinforce negative patterns "I'm no good with money", "I never finish projects", etc. Also it is about noticing the ruts in your life and, not only explaining how to leave them, but remains with you while you do it. I have read many books on 'life tools' but they don't stay with you for the duration.
So I have my ticket and now I have my companion for the journey and she is simply me, being conscious and being brave for as long as it takes to leave forever these trenches, this mile-deep maze, made by me.
I'll send postcards I promise.

Harry Potter Party

Direct from the icepack on my head, I finally have a party to report!
Last Saturday we had our (now) annual mid-winter celebration. This year, it was obvious I had to choose Harry Potter as the theme. Hence I have been preparing over the last month, with lots of set and prop-making, food ideas and considering of costume. In other words, I have been having a lot of fun playing!
I hired a magician for entertainment. This wasn't so easy as most of these people work through agencies and it all costs big bucks. Also, though the theme may be based on YA books, this was a party for grown-ups. Luckily the wonderful Harry Mak volunteered and his show certainly helped make the evening magical.
Some people dressed up, (costumes were excellent), others wore black, but I think everybody had a lot of fun getting into the spirit (and butterbeer) of the evening.
A very lovely friend also made me my own set of Olivander wands. I was just as excited as if I had been at the store itself!

Harry Potter Fun

It was obvious, as I jumped up and down with excitement over the Harry Potter poster at work today, that the expression on my co-worker's face was not that of enthused delight. Alarm? Pity? It was hard to tell as I was too busy looking at Harry, Ron and Hermione and getting very excited about the final movie installment this week. I'm devastated too, like any fan, than this is the last morsel we shall be fed...but let's go with the happy thoughts shall we?
I'm torn of course; I really want to see the movie, but will be too busy preparing for my Harry Potter party this coming weekend, to go.
I just spent a week away with my family. Well, we were in the same location but they were doing sporting stuff involving snow (looks lovely but is really cold and wet) and I was indoors: warm, drawing,writing and sitting at a table drinking hazelnut hot chocolate whilst looking out at the mountains. Not too shabby. Among my activities were some decorations for the party which were a lot of fun to make. Just a lot of colouring- in hours. And I found a gorgeous mate at the shops...

The Artist's Way to Harry Potter

Theres one thing I had forgotten the joy of recently until I was grinning like an idiot, elbow deep in Derwents, and that is playing.
My self-led artists recovery course happens to co-incides with our annual Mid-winter party. This is a yearly excuse for me to decorate our house in some kind of theme and have a party to celebrate mid-winter (I celebrate the winter, my husband the end of it). As the final Harry Potter movie is to be released [ :-)/:-( ] about the same time, it seemed an excellent theme for the party. I usually do make some effort at props and styling, but this year, reconnecting with my creativity has meant I have become, well, obsessed. Ideas are coming out like a clay pigeon shooter and though I have no idea how I will have the time to do them all, the main thing is that I am having a ball (albeit alone on my little nerdy planet- "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."). This opportunity to play with something fun has been a great party-starter for my brain. I promise to proudly show off whatever ridiculous lengths my playing reaches!
If you have lost your creative joy, try putting on a themed party, make a cubby house, design your dream campervan, make a clay gargoyle or put on some eyeliner and do Singstar. You know your inner child wants too!

The Artist's Way

I haven't posted here for a quite a while. I admit the reason was, that for much of this year, I found myself in a creative vacuum.
At the end of last year I had been given a green light to send my manuscript in to a publishing house. All I had to do was rewrite it for a teen audience. Duh! I was relieved that I had new found direction and you would expect then, having been given such a good opportunity, I would tuck right in and do the job. But I didn't. Admittedly it was a busy time of year with retail work and school holidays, but an excuse is only an excuse if you use it. And I did.
Months later and feeling like some invisible opportunity door was closing, I began, but I struggled to write. I wondered whether my novel was not meant to be for teens. I just couldn't work out my inability to write. Things trickled to a halt. I gave myself deadlines I ignored. I had stopped doing any art as well. My work areas became cluttered and became more fodder for the excuse mill.
It wasn't until I worked hard at clearing all my excuses and sat down to work that I realised I was in serious trouble. There was nothing there. I didn't feel like writing and my art was reluctant and feeble. I did try to do it anyway. Anyone creative knows you can't rely on the fickleness of creative moods.Bum-glue was administered. Still, nothing happened.
I continued to attend a few writing and art related things but I felt hollow and empty. I didn't want to be there and I felt like an impostor and an outsider. I found it hard to listen to other creative people and I didn't want to talk about my problem because I could hear how miserable and dead I sounded. Eww, who wanted to listen to that? I didn't!
Anyway, after one particular bout of creative constipation, I sat down to find a book to kick-start some inspiration. My eyes fell on my copy of 'The Artist's Way' by Julia Cameron. Ten years ago I was going through a troubled time creatively and the universe sent three random strangers to mention this book to me. I thought "Okay I get it!" and bought the book. It is a self-led 12 week course on creative recovery. It worked like a dream then, and I felt it would work again.
Aside from having to write out three pages of whatever is in your head each morning, and to take yourself out for an inspiration date each week, the book contains lots of great quotes and exercises for you to do, all related to helping you recover creatively.
So, two weeks ago I began the course once again and noticed almost immediately that the universe lined me up with some small and easily digestible opportunities, positive and encouraging people and a tiny yearning to get creative. I still have another 10 weeks to go and who knows what will happen after that, but I will certainly put whatever happens down here. In the meantime...
"Hi, My name is Natalie and I'm an artist."