Function Disfunction

Well I have The Dress. It took me some time traipsing through my nearest shopping complex/retail rat maze, brain whimpering, but finally I found it. I won't bore you with the details, suffice to say I look just like Elle McPherson in it. Taller, different eye colour, airbrushed, everything. Amazing. Even one of my children is called Flynn. Shazam huh?!
So, all there is left for this dinner is to make up a little coloured flyer with some samples of my illustrating work on it. So that way if some nice person says ( upon hearing of amazing talents) "Wow, you'll have to show me your stuff sometime." I can rummage through my handbag and say " Well gosh, look what I happen to have here, No, No, I don't need those extra five copies back. Feel free to give them away." And that is how things happen in my mind; a wonderful land of lollipops and gingerbread houses. In reality things often go wrong with my cunning plans. For instance I was waiting on a friend to introduce me to a local self-published author whose work I admire. When I decided I would attend another dinner function down the coast in a few weeks, I decided to contact this writer and ask her if she'd like to come. This was a great idea for two reasons. I'd finally get to meet her and chat in the car on the way there and I would have company I knew a bit at the dinner. Also I was a bit chicken to drive down at night midweek to an unfamiliar city and find the restaurant, parking etc, by myself. Well, the writer contacted me and she would love to come which is great, but she says not to worry, she will make her own way there! Darn and dang!
Oh well, I will send out a note to the dinner hosts and see if anyone else from my way is going who would like a lift. I believe Markus Zusak is going.............

Ballgowns and Badly-Drawn Cars

Yesterday I had a lot of fun doing an illustration for one of my own stories. I'm happy with the style and will begin the next one today after I come back from finding 'the dress'. Let me explain. This Saturday night I have a Children's Book Council dinner to attend, the main purpose of it being to network. Excellent. As I am a new person to the industry I would like to stand out. But not in a Barbarella way. Something that is very me (a paint-spattered drop-sheet?) yet stylish. Not one of these maxi-dress things that are all the rage at the moment. It would be trailing along the ground as I am height challenged. Plus they look like you need to accessorise with a giant clam-shell sunhat, oversize sunglasses and a pastel crocheted clutch bag. No, I will be looking for something feminine without too many body parts escaping. Something dashing yet demure. Something respectable yet fire-engine red. Gosh I hope Big-W can deliver the goods.

For a story I am writing at the mo, I need some cosmic education ( "Do or do not...there is no try."). I mean literal education about the universe ie star, planets, Magellanic Clouds (I just had to say that, it sounds so cool) etc so I looked up the details of my local observatory where you can go visit. They seem like a, er, secret handshake kind of group and I'm a bit scared but it should be very enlightening. I have to go and do regular romps to expand my creative mind. I am also going out to sketch cars soon as my pictures of cars all look like wooden block vehicles. Very sad- what a girl! Yet ironically I cannot do shoes well either. Need to work on that too. I will share something actually useful. I found the most excellent book for helping draw people. It was a source book for comic artists with figures photographed in every pose imaginable. Sorry I don't know the book author but there are several types of this thing around and I will be buying one.

Now, it's off to conquer the world, but I need my little cup of hot tea first.

seeking work v stalker girl

I am free from the bottom problems of family pets this morning thank goodness. There may have been corks involved, but I'm not saying. At least it is quiet, bar the rusty shears sound of the resident wattlebird and it is simply unfortunate that he is up a large tree and has wings else he'd be quieter too.

OK. Today I would like to share a dilemma which one day may be experienced by yourself. At the moment I have no paid work. I'm not being idle. I write every day and try out new mediums in illustrating, padding out my portfolio. Next month will be quite busy with courses and work-shops, but at this stage, no paid work to speak of. Several months ago my details were given to a writer who was apparently seeking an illustrator. It was some time before he contacted me and I had put the whole thing into the 'probably not happening' category. He did however eventually contact me and it turns out he is a travel writer, often popping oversea's and thus quite busy. He also has a novel out which I just happened to have given a friend as a gift. So I was suitably impressed with his abilities and I thought my having already bought his only novel (so far) was rather serendipitous. He also very trustingly forwarded me the text for the childrens picture book he had written and explained that he was looking into self-publishing since his work had been rejected after initial interest due to the global financial situation and publishing cuts. So, after a chat he explained he was off overseas again and would be in contact apon his return. I didn't hear from him for several weeks but i used the time to read his novel which I really enjoyed. After more silence from his end (must've had a cork too) I decided to be a bit cheeky and send an e-mail to him to say I had read his novel and enjoyed it, which was all completely true but it gave me a reason to contact him. He replied within hours and explained he had not long been home. Fair enough, he's a travel writer. Anyhow he said he was busy with work for a few weks and would call after that to arrange a face to face chat about the book. In the meantime whilst I was looking for more illustrations to do for my portfolio, I decided to do some from this guys book in case we did meet up. Just some pencil drawings, nothing time consuming, but I had a lot of fun doing them. Now heres the thing, it's been 3 1/2 weeks since I heard from this guy. I would like to show him the illustrations I have done. BUT I don't want to seem like some desperate stalker illustrator. I could just finish the pictures and add them to my portfolio or I could send off some copies to this guy. I have asked a few people their good opinions and have recieved answers from " No, just leave it" to "yes, stalker style is good, it will inspire him to focus on the book." And then there was the middle ground of " Send the pictures but keep your correspondence light". I don't know. I can sense both my ego and pride making comments on this one and it all feels a bit too much like highschool boy angst. I respect the advice given so far but it would have been more bloody convenient if you'd all picked the same sodding answer! What to do?

Working with Children and Animals

I have always loved animals but this morning I am not loving them so much. Yesterday the dogs spent much of their time indoors due to the pouring rain. This same weather prevented me from walking them and they were obviously somewhat annoyed about this as they left their 'comments' on the lounge room floor overnight for my husband to notice mid spoonful of his weetbix bites at breakfast. It probably wasn't the parallels drawn between nuggets that prompted him to hastily clean away the mess but it did not an appetising breakfast make. For myself, my nerves rose before I did when I woke to the sound of hungry chickens way before they were due to be out of their hen house. As I am sure I could hear the grinding of my neighbours teeth from their beds, I stumbled outside giving the chickens a mighty " Shush" command. Now chickens do not understand "shush". If they paused for a second at all it was probably because I startled them for a moment with my brightly coloured dressing gown. Then they just cocked their heads, blinked and continued their piercing squaaaaaaarks. I stomped back inside and harrumphed around the kitchen grabbing food for them, throwing a treat for the dogs who were jumping around me excitedly wanting their breakfast.
When I did feed the chickens I was unhappy to note that the place I put my hand to balance was the exact same spot the worlds largest chicken poop had been deposited. I wondered later if the noise I made then had been interpreted by the neighbours as the sound a chicken might make having got an egg stuck mid-vent. There was another toileting accident later this morning too but that involved one of my children, a toilet seat and a moment of poor judgement and I'd best leave it at that.
Needless to say that sometimes trying to work at home is a huge challenge at times. To be able to type away in peace without the demand of family, menagerie or home is a skill I have yet to master. I was recommended a great book on this subject of juggling, which I am reading at the moment. It's called The Divided Heart by an Australian author called Rachel Power (who has a great blog too as I discovered) who basically went and interviewed a pile of creative mum's about how they juggled their work with their family and home. The women interviewed are writers, various types of artists, dancers, theatre people etc. It's very interesting reading and it makes you feel as though you are in good company rather that slowly going mad all alone. Their was one quote given that stood out and which I have written on my bedroom wall by the door. " If it matters, I'll get it done. If it doesn't get done, it didn't matter enough."
Albeit sometimes spattered with manure, this really helps me turn up to my work. And sometimes you need all the help you can find.

How to be a Children's Writer and Illustrator

What does it take it take to be a children's book author and/or illustrator? Right now I would say the ability to get up way too early and stumble around in the dark to pull on mismatched but warm clothing and then find enough bleary eyed coordination to push two vital buttons: the kettle and the computer. Or the kettle and the studio light switch.

There are other things. Notice in my title I didn't say successful. I'm not there yet. I can only tell you how I arrived where I am and say I appear to be heading the right general direction in so much that I am a 100 times more a writer and illustrator today than I was about a year ago. Up till then I was a mum who who had part time jobs and a concertina file full of stories written over the last 5 years. I did the odd bit of artwork for myself and others. And I had joined an authors society whose newsletters were so full of literary jargon they just made me feel stupid. And that's it. Except to say I was very frustrated. The stories I had written were yelling in my head to see the light of day. I wanted to send some off to a publisher yet I wanted to illustrate them myself. Publishers make it quite clear they would prefer you did not illustrate your own work. I agonised over that for ages(you've got to really drag these avoidance techniques out) then decided to send in just the stories and then once published, hopefully have the pull to ask to illustrate book number two or three myself. Get your foot in the door first, I thought. I attended a weekend away for children's book writers and illustrators. Gosh didn't I feel like a right ping-pong at a basketball convention. The workshops were great and I got to meet some very well known Australian authors and illustrators BUT I have to say it was all very clicky and I really felt like an ignorant novice. Well, that's because I was! And really in so many ways I am still a novice but I have done a large amount toward not being ignorant since then. Aside from the networking I mentioned in an earlier blog which is so, so vital, I research other people in the industry. I look at their books, look up their websites, go to book launches and events. For my writing, I write something every day and read as much as I can find time for. For illustrating I look at other peoples illustrating, I copy some of it to understand their style (hey, it worked for Van Gogh), I try different mediums and take the odd class to learn how to use a new medium properly. But the most important thing I do now, is take my work seriously. I had decades of excuses as to why my creativity could not also be my living and I am just as busy as I ever was but as tacky as it sounds, I've found my bliss. Now I've opened the door to my passion, I'm taking the bloody door off the hinges because now I only intend to succeed.

(The painting shown is a politely modified version of a piece by talented artist David Wenzel that I had long loved)

The Soporific Effects of Tax Education

Eventually some kind sod will pay you for your creative work and if you plan to make a living from that enterprise then you are a business. I thought it was just having a jolly good lot of fun and being paid to keep doing it. Apparently not, you have to get all serious about it.

At some stage I decided the best way to understand what I needed to do business-wise was to visit an accountant. What I discovered in fact is that I seem to have an inbuilt hearing filter that does not allow me to understand the words coming out of an accountants mouth. I peered at her closely, I nodded sagely, I willed myself to understand what she was saying but it was no use. When I left I looked down at a little list of questions I'd taken with me. Beside the questions were little squiggles and marks as though I had attempted to record an answer but my brain was so confunded I had not been able to even get a simple word out the end of my pen. Such as "Huh?" I liken the whole thing to being abducted by aliens. I couldn't remember much of what had happened yet I felt worried and slightly disturbed. At least there were no probes. Now, I have to say here that it wasn't really the accountants fault, I should have asked for further explanations but she was looking at me so encouragingly I didn't want to admit I had no idea what she was talking about.

So, in case you are subject to the same strange effects of tax jargon, here is what I found to be the best way to find out all you need to know: I looked up the Australian Tax Office website and ordered free booklets of tax and small business, record keeping, home-based business. It all arrived a few days later and I have to make an admission here. These books are written so that even a moron can understand and this moron found that, explained in simple terms everything was quite interesting and comprehendable. I applied for an ABN (Australian Business Number) from the same place. You also need to register your business which is a separate thing. You can do that from here too. For myself, I am a sole trader and am trading under my own name but you may want to have a name for your business. In that case you need to register a business name. Think of at least 10 names as you can't have it if someone else has already thought up the same brilliant title. The tax office also have a phone service and I found them incredibly helpful and nice. It was as though they have heard every dumb question possible and nothing you can say will shock them. They kindly kept all tone from their voice that would indicate they thought I was a bit stupid. I recommend them very much. Now at some time you will need an accountant and I strongly suggest you find out which ones near you already deals with people in the industry. Ask other writers or artists who they use or ask one of the groups you join who they recommend. Then go and meet them. A lot will not charge for a first meeting (ask first) you can at least check out how they fare on your comprehension filter before you sign up for a life of fun together.

Making a Children's Picture Book Using Blurb

In typical hirdy-girdy style I am going to leave the road of chronological order and lift the stripy tent flap of fun stuff instead. So today instead of telling you about my trip to an accountant where I was struck dumb with imcomphrehension, I am going to tell you how I got to make a single beautiful book using free Blurb software. And hey, Blurb company people out there, if a massive excited herd of writers and illustrators rush to use your software after my Blog today, i am happy to give you my bank details.

So, once apon a time a lady wrote a children's book and came up with some far-out groovy illustrations for it to boot. She hadn't sent it off to a publisher yet, but she really wanted to see what it would look like as a book, for the purposes of gratuity and self-confidence. Luckily this talented and witty, fun and ambidexterous lady had a friend who had produced a small quantity of books showing off her beautiful wares. I will get a crack over the skull if I don't explain her wares are textile prints. Actually, let's get Kristen to blush a little here whilst I give her a plug. Come on down Kristen Doran of Kristen Doran Design. Kristen is the graphic artist friend I am very lucky to have and whom with her skills and networking has really helped me out loads of times. She doesn't need my plug as she is already quietly famous. I believe she may be asked to make a sheath for the Opera House in her latest fabrics. You can see her beautiful gear at http://www.cheekybeaks.blogspot.com/ Hey, everyone come back! You're not meant to go look now............Great! Now theres just the two of us. Oh well, I'll tell you. So that friend of mine beginning with K had made a book using Blurb. What is Blurb? Blurb is a free software you download and make up your own book, using pictues and or text and then you order it and they print it and ship it to you. It is ideal for photo's and is a great way of making a photo album without printing out all those pictures. So in my case we scanned my illustrations and using the bluprints on the software, you just kind of fill in the gaps. It's that simple. Well it was that simple for me because Kristen did most of it. But it really is pretty easy. To make up one soft-cover 36 page full colour childrens picture book measuring 20 x 25cm and have it posted to me cost about $35. Now, obviously if you want to sell these books it is not really cost effective but the ability to print up one book is priceless, I mean you should have seen the grin on my face when I beheld my book for the first time. It was a kodak moment, everything was in slow motion with a frosted lens, I spun around, my book held high in the dappled sunlight....It was great stuff. And it's worth it for the confidence and experience. It makes getting published by a publisher seem that much more possible PLUS it's an invaluable advertising tool. I just printed up another 10 (cheaper this way @ about $26 ea) books to sell at a Children's Book Council dinner. I'll be selling them at a loss, but it will get my book great exposure and as I said earlier, it's all about networking.

So check it out yourself http://www.blurb.com/

ISBN and Legal Deposit- Important Hoo-Ha

There's a few more things I want to share. Let me just wipe the muffin crumbs from them. Righto. ISBN's; the little string of numbers on the inside left of most books in the world is something you have to look into yourself if you self publish. If a publisher publishes your book, the joy is theirs. What is it? Through the miracle of cut and paste, it shall all be explained:

The ISBN (International Standard Book Number) is a 13-digit number that uniquely identifies books and book-like products published internationally. Each number identifies a unique edition of a publication, from one specific publisher, allowing for more efficient marketing of products by booksellers, libraries, universities, wholesalers and distributors.

So bottom line is, though it is not always a legal obligation, it is in your best interests to have one. In Australia you can buy them singly or a group. I bought a block of 10 for Au$80. Not surprisingly they cost more if you buy one at a time. When you have published your book, you contact the ISBN people and tell them which number you used and the book details. There is lot's of plainspeak info on their site. You can also purchase barcodes from here via a link. One other thing, and you can find it mentioned also on this site is Legal Deposit which I think many people self-publishing may miss and it is actually the law. Now, I only know the Aussie rules but whomsoever publishes a book in Australia (with the exception of books made only for friends and family) must send a copy of their book to the National Library plus whatever libraries are also listed for your state. That is another 3 for me in NSW. So take a note of that if you self publish. It is not a bad thing to have your books in these places, in fact it is flattering, however the excitement or annoyance is a bill you have to foot yourself.

Today I noticed I can put a title in

I know, I know I'm late today. I'm all rushed and askew. Well, I know I am bound for greatness sometime soon, but for now I still had to do the grocery shopping earlier this morning. I would like to tell you I trailed over dewy grass to my local village market. That I wandered casually from stall to stall, breathing out puffs of mist, hands in my tweed coat jacket, chatting to Mr Rosenkrantz at his vegatarian sausage stall and laughing gaily with Marjorie Frumpstead as I admired her wholemeal wicker soy candles. That I returned home eventually with a 500 litre barrell of organic Pinot Noir under one trembling arm and and a limp soy chicken and bunch of homegrown watercress with frogs still attached in the other.
But no. No in reality I wandered the cold empty isles of Coles, alone like a little snack going through after a colonoscopy. Perhaps I moved a little faster.
After all the excitement of filling my trolley with little squares of plastic and cardboard, I got to meet Michael, the check out guy. It appeared from Michaels general demeaner and expression that he had had to pull a damp and frozen pair of undies off the clothes line in order to get to work on time. And they still hadn't dried. His warmth, friendly attitude and wit were clearly expressed elsewhere and later in the day. All in all a life affirming experience.
Yet, here I am still tapping away with those worn out two fingers to tell you another piece of advice to get published- just show up: at that desk or easel or floating beanbag with built-in laptop. Just show up and you will improve because you are proving that you mean business. Grrrrrr!!!!

I have found an excellent tonic for being awake at an early hour. You just eat a big plate of pasta for dinner the night before and voila (or viola as my son says) you never really got to sleep and eyes already open it's just a matter of hauling your carcass out of bed. Pour some hot tea down the throat and here I am.
OK I thought today I'd tell you about all my writer and illustrator friends. .......................Actually I don't have any. If you dreamt of being a writer or illustrator and woke up to find yourself in a room full of people with pencils or pens behind their ears, lucky you. However when I decided to do this sort of thing I knew no-one. A massive piece of advice to give- NETWORK,NETWORK, NETWORK! Have a look at your own people assets to begin with. The people you can easily chat with around your area (if you are on a remote island this may not be possible) are librarian's, teachers, bookshop owners, printers, people at galleries, artists, friends who may have a relative in any of these area's or in the publishing industry. Talk about your work to people. You don't have to give away your stories or show all your pictures but let people know what you do. Many of these people will put you in contact with others and you begin a little database of contacts. Keep a record of all this. You never know when you might use this. By the way you are not using people, but becoming a link in a network chain where you in turn will connect others.
I am lucky enough to have a graphic artist friend who though not involved with books herself as such, knows a few people who are. Successful people possibly won't want to be your buddy as such but many are happy to give abit of advice or perhaps give you another name. It all helps. Borrow books on the subject, theres tonnes at your library.
Next, join groups of people with similar interests and also organisations put together to serve people in the industry you want to be in. Prices vary on all thses things so ask people what they recommend and put your money firstly with best value given. For instance, I joined a local branch of The Federation of Australian Writers. By doing so I became an affilliate member of the New South Wales (my State) Writers Centre. Between the two bodies I get lot's of info, meet people and get members rates to lot's of workshops and functions. I also joined the local branch of the Childrens Book Council of Australia where I recieve another lot of benefits. I subscibed to two on-line publications- Buzz Words and Pass it On, both dedicated to the childrens book industry in Australia and very helpful and interesting and at a very reasonable cost. Check out your local versions of all this if you haven't already.(They are a tax deduction if your work is a business). So be brave and make your passion public- only a few will run away and if you're quick you can chuck a business card in their bags as they retreat!

It early morning and I am up writing to show that I am a serious writer. Impressive eh? . The fact that my eyes won't focus properly, I am half frozen and my hair looks like a half-eaten fairy floss is mere trivia and simply a bonus to you that I am not visible. Because I am SERIOUS WRITER GIRL...IRL...IRL..IRL (super hero announcement echo). Yes, I Natalie will no longer fart around, fritter or squander my time to write and illustrate because I intend to have have lot's of my stories published ASAP.
I have been struggling with the balance of family and home with my writing and illustrating. I also do a few volunteer things and work about 3 hours a week. I had three days I was dedicating to my book work but really I was not getting a whole lot done (it's amazing how often the daisies needed dead-heading) and though I don't like to admit it, constantly finding excuses why I couldn't work. I also realised I was behaving like a child. I would throw tantrums and sulk that I wanted time to do my 'stuff' but the whole time I felt guilty that I was doing something 'wrong', something a bit naughty and not allowed. After all,I wanted all this time and space and some equipment but I wasn't really making any money. I felt like people were all thinking " Boy, that Natalie wants it all doesn't she? Doesn't want to do housework (duh!), clean up after people, do paperwork, deweed the herbaceous border. What a selfish tofu quadruped (I'm a vego)!
Embarrassing to admit but I finally realised I was the architect of my own boundaries. I was holding myself back. I had decades of practice avoiding all this. I should have realised my enemy was me all along. SO, I gave myself permission to succeed without limits. I decided to look at myself as my employee. What a slacker! This girl needed to put her nose the the grinder and prove she really wanted what she talked endlessly about wanting. So here I am being serious. I have installed a plan where one by one I get rid of distractions (the family can stay but the foghorn chickens may discover flight) and I have divvied out the housework and chores among the family. That should get a laugh all round. So now I get up around 5 and write till 7:30. Then I do family and home stuff till 9:30 and then it's illustrating till 3 and family and home again till after dinner then a bit more writing and reading and e-mail for an hour. That's roughly 8 hours of serious writer/artist dedication. I do believe in fairies!

I think you should know a bit about me. That way you can feel quite confident about what you too might achieve if you see that an often quite thick, over-the-hill ex-pharmacy assistant can become an established writer and illustrator.

In primary school I loved:
Drawing and painting
Writing and reading
Making up plays and performing

In highschool I loved:
Art
English
Ancient History (although sadly Narnia was never covered in the curriculum)

So naturally my dad wanted me to be...........a vet.

Yep that's right and he still tells me occassionally to this day that I would have made a great vet.
Now to be fair I have always loved animals too but I am thinking my interests and talents lay fairly obviously in arts and literature.Well, really my parents just wanted me to live a comfortable life and they did not want me to be a starving artist or writer. So the phrase " I don't know what I want to do" became my mantra for the next few decades. Of course I had to fill in those decades somehow. I went to Uni and did Theatre Production, I did hairdressing, worked in bakeries, sold insurance (warning this work can destroy a soul), worked in a drycleaners ( I got fired from there- beat that people) and mostly worked as a phamacy assistant. I was a single mum for a while and did housecleaning ( obviously a highlight, those years). Blah, blah, blah. The whole time I wrote journals, poetry, did the odd drawing and painting. All these years I was often unhappy. I have to say that at one point a guy I lived with agreed to me working part-time so I could be creative at home. In all honesty most of the time I just sat there. I didn't know what to do. I made some nice muffins.
Luckily my mum always encouraged me by annoying me with requests for artwork. My grandfather wrote a few books about his life. My brother got me some mural jobs and I'd met a lovely guy who was happy for me to get creative whenever. Trust me I knew to marry that one.
I found I had all these stories bubbling out of me. I wrote them down. I had images in my head for the pictures to them or movie-like images for the adult fiction.
But I was still working part-time in work I wasn't enjoying. I had a family, a home and pets that all needed attending to (never ever buy chickens if you need some peace to work in). My creativity happened in the gaps between till one day I just couldn't ignore the misery inside me any more. I felt like I was going to explode if I didn't make my stories my main focus. And luckily there was no divorce and my family likes baked beans on toast. Well, it's not that simple and more about that later. But todays blog can be summed up thus:
If you have a creative child, please please please encourage them to persue that. I hear so many parents ask their creative teenagers what they will do for a real job and it breaks my heart. Creativity is a great gift however it is like a sword. You can use it and be a great warrior or unused it turns back on you.

...............Ooops! Am I on now?Can I just lower the mic?
Okay folks; I am an illustrator and writer. Mostly for children. Am I published? Hey, you won't get a free coffee from Gloria Jean's for knowing me, but yeah I'm published............Okay, Okay I did it myself but hey, after wandering around the the Wood's of Wrong Careers, I'm doing it my way at first. Coz, it's not as scary and I would never reject my own submission. I save on postage too.
The wacky adventures that are befalling me after deciding to go with my passions prompted me to share. At the very least you can laugh AND avoid that awful pitfall that I fell A over T into. Or maybe you'll get some good advice. I'll let you know as soon as I think of any.
In the meantime please come share the fun, the pain and the burnt dinners as I aspire to become a world reknowned writer and illustrator.